Cruel and Unusual?

Here's a funny story: a man walks up to a prostitute, asks her for a date, finds out she's an undercover cop, and a few weeks later finds himself, per court order, dressed up like a chicken on the local news. Soon the story spreads nationwide and he's on Good Morning America, among others. Now look at this and realize it is not just a funny story.

Is this really legal? To punish people by making them do very strange, embarrassing, public punishments? Granted, being a former college residence hall director, I am of the school of "punishment should be educational, not punitive" and I've never liked the idea of prison. So, maybe it is a good idea, but is it cruel and unusual?

Then the idea struck me, wouldn't it be awesome if when men committed petty crimes against women we could institute some kind of system of public humiliation to which they had to submit? I'd be fair enough to say women would have to do this kind of thing, too.

Here's a few ideas:
1) When proven guilty of committing the non-verbal FU, a person must have 500 business cards printed reading: "I will probably stop calling you in a months time. I don't respect other people's feelings." and he must give one to the next 500 people s/he meets upon introducing him/herself.

2) When found guilty of insulting your partner's appearance, you must walk the streets wearing a t-shirt with a picture of either a) Jessica Alba or b) Johnny Depp reading, "I am not good looking enough to judge other people by their looks. I will never date this person."

3) Cheaters should be forced to eat blenderized fast-food meals mixed with slugs and beetles while being videtaped. In between each swallow they should say: "I am a dirty cheater." The resulting film should be posted on YouTube.

Other ideas? Drop 'em in the comments.