From the mouth of J Dubs: Co-sign my letter to Ben & Jerry

From the mouth of J Dubs: Co-sign my letter to Ben & Jerry

Co-sign my letter to Ben & Jerry

Friends - spurred by the Ms. Blog post re: Ben and Jerry's, and my reaction to it, I wrote this letter, which I will devilver to Ben and Jerry next week. If you'd like your name to appear as a co-signer, please comment!

Dear Ben and Jerry,

I am writing this note to you from a place of deep love and respect for your work, your mission, and your product. I am one of many women who love social justice, equality, and delicious ice cream. My soul has been comforted by the words of Adrienne Rich, the life of Martin Luther King, Jr., the comedy of Gilda Radner, the music of Nina Simone, and the taste of Chubby Hubby.

So I write this not because I am angry at you, but because I love what you do, and I want to continue to love it as part of the rich, complex, diverse web of things that I love and want to stand up for.

Most likely, this letter has already been brought to your attention, but if it hasn’t, please let me bring it to your attention: http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/09/30/an-open-letter-to-ben-and-jerry/

Like the writer I was shocked, and then dismayed to realize that she was right: that your tributes have all but ignored the contributions of women, people of color, GLBT people, young people, and anyone not a native English speaker.

You have done amazing things in terms of honoring great music, great comedy, Doonesbury, and free trade. All things I deeply love and respect as well. But I am sure you well know that free trade is not about protecting white male capitalist Americans. Free trade is about spreading the wealth, being fair, and making sure that people who work hard to make top notch products are not taken advantage of just because of where they were born, or the color of their skin. I know you believe in these things just as I do, and so I am asking you from the bottom of my heart to let us know how much you care.

The only way that things will change in our world in terms of fairness and equality is if all of us – writers, businesspeople, and ice cream tycoons alike – get on board with recognizing and honoring contributions made across all cross-sections of the population and making it more than just ok, but NORMAL, that the folks we have to admire, look up to and revere are as diverse as possible. You are culture makers – you are a force! You can be the ones who step up and make a difference in this area. Your flavor honorees can and should be as diverse as your flavors!

I eagerly await the public response to this open letter. I’ve gotten some private messages from your company on Twitter about a response, but I want that response to go public. This is, after all, a very public discussion. Millions of your very loyal customers (we all know women LOVE ice cream) are waiting to hear where you stand on this issue that is very near and dear to us, and more importantly effects our lives and the lives of our children and the people in our communities.

Don’t let me down!



Jessica Wilson

Non-profit fundraiser, activist, and ice cream eater for over 30 years

Lowell, MA

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LOST, The End, and Everything

After watching last night's finale, I can't say I've been moved to write an interpretation of film (because that's really what Lost was...a series of really well done short films) since college. When I was forced to.

I think the finale rightly put us, as viewers, in an interesting place. When LOST began, we got hooked on the characters. I remember I came late to the LOST party, and caught an episode on repeat while I was falling asleep in an airport hotel. It was one of the early episodes about Sun and Jin and I was totally fascinated by the facade of their relationship, their secrets, their obvious love for each other and confusion on how to reconcile it with their inability to trust each other or themselves. It was, in a word, AMAZING. So then I had to watch the rest.

What kept me watching years into it was the crazy X-files stuff they threw in there. There was a new mystery every week, and each new turn always brought out new secrets, fun facts, and statements of personality about the characters which made me love them even more.

Finally, in the end, even though it was confusing, it all started to make sense to me (admittedly, these are my personal interpretations, but they seemed to click for me).

So maybe we never knew the origin of The Others, but do we really ever allow ourselves to see into the hearts of our perceived enemies? How else could they remain "other" - an entity that we could fight and harm without remorse?

They were framed as the people who didn't "get it." But really, they were lost, shipwrecked people, just like every other person on the island. They were the parents of Jacob and the Man in Black - the island's Adam. But they wanted to stake their claim, they thought they were "the good guys" and they were never able to be at peace - with themselves, with Jacob, with the Dharma initiative, or with any of the islands visitors. They just kicked the crap out of everyone they happened along. Because they were attempting to protect something (the Temple) at whatever cost. And they automatically believed that anyone who wasn't one of them must be bad. Sound familiar yet?

And it seemed pretty right that a confused and unhappy man (The Man in Black) who was obsessed with the one thing he couldn't have would come face to face with the most perfect representation of life and peace and hope (you know...that weird tunnel with the light) and "turn into a monster" for lack of understanding. And he wasn't just a self-contained monster...oh no. He was the kind of monster that wasn't happy until he made everyone around him just as miserable as he was.

And any time someone came face to face with it, it seemed as if they were literally facing their demons. Remember when Mr. Eko saw all the scenes from his life in the monster? Or how the monster, when he was in human form, new everyone's business? He was totally your worst nightmare.

Jacob's mother? Well, everyone and everything has a mother...that's what they said. The island had to have one. The Virgin Mary was just a girl in a small town when she was chosen. She became a mother in a way that was fairly inexplicable to most of the people around her. Granted, she didn't kill anyone, but this Island brings out the worst in people. So I think she was kind of the Anti-Virgin.

And that light? I mean, sure it was totally cheesy and silly looking, but I can't imagine that a man-made visual representation of "the energy force that sustains everything" would be very believable. When Desmond pulled out the plug and proclaimed it "some kind of drain" and the island started falling apart, I couldn't help but think of The Never Ending Story, and the Nothing, and the boy's task to remake the world of imagination from one grain of sand. "OF COURSE it isn't real!" I thought.

All that Egyptian stuff just seemed to be the symbol that yes, this is an eternal story. This is the struggle we have all had, as humans, since we first learned to stand upright, talk, make tools, innovate, and of course, hurt each other. We have always been creating things to help us obtain power over others, manipulate our circumstances, and take advantage of opportunities. Sometimes (often times) to our own detriment. In trying to win, people sometimes forget how to work together, and then end up, like Jacob said, "all alone."

Back at the church, the good Christian Shepherd told Jack, "everything was real and everything mattered and the most important part of your lives was when you were all together." Sounds like a sermon to me.

So, like the Losties, I sat there realizing the truth of it all. That sometimes the most complicated situations we can imagine are really there to teach us some of the simplest lessons. Because most of us won't listen to the simple stuff. We need all the bells, whistles, explosions, polar bears, crashed planes, complicated story lines and hot guys without shirts on to catch our attention.

To take one of TV's highest budget, craziest, most watched and most innovative shows and end it with a quiet sermon, in a non denominational church, panning a group of friendly, diverse faces, kissing and hugging, and speechless because of the depth of their love for one another may have seemed ridiculous, but it might have been one of the most revolutionary moves I've ever seen.

In the end it wasn't about special effects, or solved mysteries, or secrets or lies, or whatever. It was just about love. Which, in the end, it always is, isn't it?

growth

The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them. ~George Bernard Shaw

Ah, to be grateful for the person who can accept you as you are, even if that person is not who you were yesterday.

Thinking about change as I watched the numbers tick on the big screen at the Shamrock tonight, and another election day came and went, and another group of people made another set of decisions, and small pockets of human beings celebrated triumphs and lamented defeats, and made plans for the future. And something small shifted in a way that could mean huge shifts down the road.

And I am reminded of how the small shifts I make each day effect days, years and months I can't even imagine now.

And I am reminded of how grateful I am for those who will love me no matter what. And grateful for those whom I have met, who I love.

Thanks for an amazing day.

Fall vanity

In the midst of home improvement projects and practically cutting my finger off with the Cling Wrap box, I decided to investigate how to make my hands prettier.

Fall colors for nails include metallics (I have), green (weird), vampire red (of course, Edward Cullen) and midnight blue (so you look dead).

Enjoy!

Commentary on my house buying.

So today my friend told her 5 year old that I bought a house.

The five year old (remember, she's five) said, "Did she get a husband, too?"

My friend said, "No!" and laughed.

The five year old replied, "It's not funny other people have husbands." After a short pause she asked, "So, she's doing this all by herself?"

"Yes she is," said my friend.

"Hmmm..." mused the five year old, "I don't know about that."

If I were a dude I would have a harem

I recently bought a house. By myself.

The other day, I had a lovely female friend over, and we were talking about the new home, furniture and fixtures I was planning to buy, the home improvement projects I had just successfully completed, and the paint colors I had chosen. I've been in the house for almost 3 weeks, and I am close to being finished setting it all up. Cosmetically anyways. The roof, that's another story.

In the midst of the tour, she turned to me, and casually said, "You know how Gloria Steinem said we're becoming the men we want to marry? Well, you're the man I want to marry."

As weird as this sounded, I believe it's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. And ironic because I can't really remember anyone ever telling me that I was the woman they wanted to marry. Well, actually once, in college, when I told some guy how much I liked beer, and how I actually knew the difference between the different types of beers, he told me he wanted to marry me. But that's it.

Having been uncoupled for most of my adult life, I've had to figure out ways to do most of life's activities alone when I have to. Eating, sleeping, taking out the trash, moving furniture (except for the really heavy stuff), paying the bills, planning vacations. I've always wondered if being needier would have made me a more irresistible mate. But being needy is something I can't even fake.

Maybe knowing that I didn't need to be taken care of made me seem a little stand offish. Maybe not being needed, just being wanted, was hard for my former partners to take. Maybe I'm better off without them anyways.

But at the end of the day, the reason the comment made me smile was that I heard in it not only the permission but the insistence that I continue to be myself.

It was freeing to imagine that my independence, ability to work hard and take care of myself and those around me would actually be considered desirable qualities. Because I always thought they were.