Yoga and perspective

I first off wanted to brag about my stellar performance at yoga class last night. I did two moves successfully that I have never, ever, ever been able to do before:
The crow and the bird of paradise. I've added pictures below, so you can marvel at my talents.





I was absolutely psyched because I've never been able to do the crow without face planting, and last night as I was crouching down, at the part where I usually get all nervous and think about how much it's going to hurt when I fall on my face, I instead said to myself, "I'm going to do this. And it's gonna be awesome." And I totally did. The bird one was a little crazier. I saw myself doing it in the mirror, freaked out because it looks totally unnatural, and fell over after about 1 breath. But I got there, and that's the first step.

So, that's the good news.

Today, on the eve of Valentine's Day, possibly the most evil plot perpetrated on single women in America today, I got to chatting with MSFAM about relationships. She's in one, and like most of us, has been in some previous baddies, leaving her with trust issues.

We were talking about how there are things that girls naturally do better than boys. And believe me, I could fill a few pages with this one, but I'll just focus on what we were talking about: remembering things significant to the relationship in great detail.

Men usually find this psychotic. They just don't understand that most of us are simply programmed this way. And we got to the "maybe he just doesn't understand women..." part of the conversation, and I said this:

"Well, no man does, really. They especially don't understand the ones they're in a romantic relationship with. The closer you are to people, the less you understand them because the more you rely on them, the more you only see their actions in terms of your needs."

A grand generalization, yes, I know. I'm almost being unfair. I should bow down and hail all those relationships where the communications skills are equal, perfect, fair and objective. There really are so many examples. Like....um...right.

But really. I know I've caught myself at this with men in the past. Ex.: I assume he's mad at me, so everything he does or says indicates that he is mad (whether or not it's the case) which then effects how I react (because I think he's mad, so I'm sheepish or defensive or nasty) and then, we both really get mad. For no reason.

Or when you are in a relationship giving advice to the other (solicited or unsolicited) but for some reason, when it's coming from you, rather than a third party not intimately involved, it's somehow a loaded gun instead of friendly advice.

I don't think all this is a given. I think miscommunication just becomes alot easier when your back and forth is mediated by email, text messages, third parties, *blogs*, and phone calls that come at really inopportune times so instead of being the main attraction they become distractions. And of course you have to acknowledge that certain sense of self-centeredness and defensiveness that comes from being in a bunch of failed relationships - that doesn't help much either.

I think open and honest communication is certainly attainable, and a great goal to have. I just worry sometimes that too much emotional damage, and too many channels of communication and interpretations thereof create more obstacle than enhancement. Which is why I do the crow and the bird of paradise. It grounds me, so that when someone communicates with me, I can take it for what it is. Or what I interpret what it is to be.

Jeez.

Never mind.