Lessons from the professor with pancreatic cancer

I saw a guy named Randy Pausch on Oprah today. He was pretty amazing. He was a professor at Canegie Mellon, an inventor of amazing virtual technology, and he could do push-ups and clap in between.

He's dying of pancreatic cancer, and has been told he only has months to live. But he's in great shape and has an amazing attitude, and advice for life. Below is the original one hour lecture. The Oprah version was only about 8 minutes or so.

Anyways, this guy was amazing. He's the kind of guy who makes you feel guilty for complaining without making you feel like a total loser. There's a part of him that believes a miracle can happen - and that he can live. I love him for that.

At the end of the show, Randy was imparting quick snippets of advice for his kids at the end of Oprah, and the dating advice he had for his daughter is GOOD STUFF.

He said, "Ignore everything boys say to you, and pay attention to what they do." I think if I had known this, I would have made a lot fewer dating mistakes.

Take for instance the man who said he thought I was great, beautiful, and couldn't wait to see me again. That he "liked me instinctively" as if our being together was the incontrovertible result of evolution. Yeah, well, every time we crossed the street together he jumped on the side of me opposite the traffic. He wanted me to die first. I should have known that one wouldn't end well.

Or how about the guy who asked me to marry him...and then showed up as my "date" to a friend's wedding late and high. If only I had realized this meant he had no regard for marriage. Or me.

And what about the dude who said he wanted to be with me forever. I assumed "unconditionally" was part of that promise. And then he got upset with me for being sick and cranky and decided not to call me for three days, despite my 3 worried voicemails and 2 text messages. Apparently there is an expiration date on forever.

And lets not forget they guy who told me he was in love with me, and told me he didn't want me to date anyone else. I thought he was romantic. But, when I got a new job and suddenly became twice as busy, he assumed I was lying and that my job couldn't possibly be that hard, so I must be cheating on him. He wasn't romantic. He was possessive and paranoid.

Randy, you've given me a new lease on life. You've made me realize my life is only as good as I make it, my power only as finite as I believe it to be, and that my intuition truly is my best guide. Every time I feel like complaining, I'm going to try to remember you, and shut up and work harder instead.

And next time I go on a date with a guy, I'm not gonna listen to one single sweet nothing he tries to whisper in my ear. Because "nothing" truly is the best word for those meaningless things men try to tell you to butter you up. I'll remember actions speak louder than words.

THANK YOU! You're awesome and I wish you much health and happiness.